ya know what’s weird?

That nobody ever wants to see you alone.

They’re like, “I really want to see you end up with someone who’s good for you.” and, “are you sure okay?”

It’s hard to understand that some of us would rather be alone than pretend to be okay with going on dates with people who we feel no connection and ease with. It’s fine that some people love that shit, that people swipe through tinder for hours and want to try and try and try until they finally get it right with someone, but for me that is not special.

It’s like, I want raw, un-foreseen connection. Something you didn’t see coming but only felt, and you felt it so hard before anything ever happened. And if i don’t, then i am so more than okay with being alone, and I don’t want to hear people say “dude you’re going to be alone forever,” just because i’m 21 and I don’t like every single guy I hang out with 3 or 4 times, or because I get scared away by how pushy some guys are and how much they want to talk about their feelings with me when I barely know what color their eyes are because I haven’t cared to look directly into them.

Most people i know are a little older, and are looking for something, solid. They’re out searching for the next person they’re going to try with. Or, they’re gay, and they’re constantly going on dates with people, they’re on dates with more people than I think I’ve ever met. But, I mean that’s their thing. I guess my issue with this is that, well it’s not my thing. My thing is constantly being busy so that when I’m finally alone and have nothing to do, it feels good. My thing is traveling to see the people that I care about most because they have all been strategically placed in locations just far enough away from me to make me develop different relationships, ones that I can maintain everyday but in a way that’s natural.

we’re not alone, we just choose who we want to be with.


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